AAAAHHHHHHHH I AM ARTUR BORUC AND THIS IS A LIST OF THINGS THAT MADE ME ANGRY THIS WEEK:
1. SEBASTIEN FREY -- INSTEAD OF MAKING ME BE YOUR BACKUP AGAIN FIORENTINA SOLD YOU TO GENOA!!!!!!!!! THAT MEANS I WIN SEBASTIEN!!!!!!!!!! I WIN!!!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHH I HOPE YOU ENJOY THE DELICIOUS FRUIT BASKET I SENT YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2. MARIO BALOTELLI -- EVERYTHING YOU DO MAKES MY HEAD HURT!!!!!!!!!!! AND NOT IN A GOOD WAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHY CAN'T YOU JUST BE A NORMAL PERSON AND TYPE IN ALL CAPS ON THE INTERNET INSTEAD OF TRYING ILL-ADVISED BACKHEELS AND DOING STRANGE THINGS TO YOUR HAIR?!?!?!?!??!?!? WHY?!???!?!?!??!?!
3. JOE HART'S STREET FIGHTER MOVE -- BIG DEAL!!!!!!!!!!!!! EVERY TIME I GO TO MCDONALD'S I EXECUTE A MORTAL KOMBAT FATALITY ON THE CASHIER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I AM NOT WELCOME AT MCDONALD'S ANYMORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
4. CORN -- GUESS WHAT ATTACKS YOUR CHILDREN WHEN YOU'RE NOT LOOKING??!?!?!?! A VARIETY OF INSECTS AND TINY BUGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BUT ONLY BECAUSE THE CORN TOLD THEM TO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHH THE CORN IS MOTHER NATURE'S YOUNG LOVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
5. TELLING TWITTER YOU'RE GOING TO SMASH YOUR WIFE'S BACKDOORS IN -- THIS IS WHY I'M NOT ON TWITTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I WOULD GET IN TROUBLE FOR SAYING THINGS LIKE THAT EVEN THOUGH THEY ARE TRUE AND HONEST!!!!!!!!!!!!! ALSO BECAUSE I CAN'T PROPERLY EXPRESS MY ANGER IN 140 CHARACTERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ANGRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
6. BRAZILIAN GOALKEEPER KICKING OPPONENT IN THE NECK -- IT'S NOT OK TO KICK SOMEONE IN THE NECK WHEN THEY DON'T EXPECT IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!! EVERYONE KNOWS YOU SHOULD SEND THEM A HANDWRITTEN NOTE INFORMING THEM OF YOUR DECISION TO KICK THEM IN THE NECK FIRST AND THEN DO IT ONLY AFTER THEY RSVP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH THEY RARELY RSVP!!!!!!!!!!!
7. NEYMAR'S GOLAZO -- THE ONLY THING THAT CAN STOP HIM IS THE CORN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BUT THAT'S BECAUSE IT WILL SOON STOP US ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHH I HATE THE CORN!!!!!!!!!! I HATE THE CORN SO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
8. GARETH BALE'S CLONE -- AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
9. MY IDIOT NEIGHBOR DAN WYKOWSKI -- HE MADE A PIE THIS WEEK AND GAVE IT TO ME AS A NEIGHBORLY GIFT!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IT TASTED AWFUL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AWFUL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MOSTLY BECAUSE IT DID NOT INCLUDE MY FAVORITE INGREDIENTS WHICH ARE PIECES OF GLASS AND RABIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LATER IN THE WEEK HE ASKED ME IF I ENJOYED IT AND I SAID "YES DAN IT WAS DELICIOUS!!!!!!!!! YOU HAVE A REAL TALENT FOR MAKING PIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" BUT I SAID IT IN WAY SO HE WOULD KNOW THAT I THREW IT AGAINST THE WALL AND THEN HEADBUTTED THAT WALL REPEATEDLY BEFORE I EVEN TASTED IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHH I HOPE DAN MAKES ME ANOTHER ONE JUST SO I CAN HEADBUTT A PIE WALL AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I AM ARTUR BORUC AND THIS HAS BEEN MY RAGE LIST. SEE YOU NEXT WEEK! GOD BLESS!!!!!!
Source: http://sports.yahoo.com/soccer/blog/dirty-tackle/post/Artur-Boruc-s-Friday-Rage-List?urn=sow-wp3766
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