Arjen Robben
Not again. ... There's no way I can be hurt again. ... Ah! I just tried to wiggle my toes and now I think they're all broken. Normal people don't break their toes by wiggling them. ... Maybe it's time to start playing inside a bubble. Maybe that will save my career. ... I can see the headlines now: "Arjen the Bubble Boy scores World Cup winner with his protective bubble." ... Yeah. That will be grand. ... The good news at least is that the hospital said they would throw me a little party with cake for my one millionth visit. ... Cake is good...
Nani
SCREW YOU GRAVITY
Fidel Castro
Ugh, what is he talking about? ... Didn't he get the memo that we were all going to wear tracksuits today? Instead he wears jean shorts. No class. ... Did he just say he wants to start his own country called "Diegoland"? What is going on? ... Good, Chavez looks lost too. ... I'm too old for this junk. Maybe if I just go to sleep he'll get the hint. ... I still can't believe he has my face tattooed on his leg. On second thought, maybe I shouldn't fall asleep...
Didier Drogba
Time for the disgraces. ... First, this pitch is a Slip 'n Slide. That's a slippery f***ing disgrace. ... Then, people keep giving Fernando Torres trouble for not scoring. That's an overscrutinized f***ing disgrace. ... Then, they keep talking about Torres instead of recognizing that I'm 33 and still knocking them in. That's an unrecognized f***ing disgrace. ... Then, we've been in Asia for a while now and I still haven't met Yao Ming. That's a disappointing f***ing disgrace. ... Then, Kalou told me that I had to get birthday presents for both him and his cat even though Katou wasn't born on the same day as him. That's a greedy f***ing disgrace. ... Then, there were those times those referees who probably make fake mustaches out of� armpit hair cheated us out of the Champions League. That...that was a...
Photos: Getty, Reuters, AP
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